


Something Lost

by jbcorman



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 06:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbcorman/pseuds/jbcorman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>OK, I'm having issues with getting things to italicize so I apologize if they ending is a little confusing. "Why do you think I'm torturing you?" "Oh Stiles" and "I'm sorry, so, so sorry" are supposed to be in italics. Hopefully this will help clear up the ending a bit</p></blockquote>





	Something Lost

Stiles knew.

He knew the moment she had come into their lives what she was. He knew it the moment he saw her, and when Derek, who had had his back to her, stopped right in the middle of telling him to shut up to turn and look at her.

She was very pretty.

Tall with long, dark hair and a slightly sun kissed complexion. Forest green eyes to match Derek’s own. A soft smile.

She had won almost everyone over with just a look. Everyone but Stiles.

She was also wild. A lone wolf from Washington in search of a home. But she was also kind, light hearted, funny, interesting, and, above all, a girl.

So yeah, Stiles had known. He had known the moment she stepped into the clearing in front of the Hale house what she was and what she would become to them.

So he had put on a smile and the mask of friendliness and had greeted her along with the others.

After all, a pack needs to stick together right?

\-------

The moment Stiles knew he wasn’t going to be able to handle it was when he saw Derek kiss her for the first time.

The Alpha had been timid to say the least, but she had simply smiled her smile and he had melted.

Stiles had never seen him so happy.

That was the day his words were snatched away.

He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe. He just stood there watching as she pulled Derek close and he wrapped his arms around her.

He thinks he must have blanked out because the next thing he knew he was at home, curled into a ball under his bed like he used to do when he was little and his mom was still alive.

He really shouldn’t have done that though.

Wood and salt water don’t mix very well.

\--------

He wasn’t overly surprised when Derek announced that he and she were going to be mates.

Stiles tried to smile and put on the face of happiness, but he got out of there as soon as he could because he was sure he failed miserably.

That was when The Empty made itself known to him.

The Empty had started off small. A little pip in his stomach that made him feel nauseous all the time like a case of indefinite food poisoning. But over time The Empty had grown.

It was now large enough to have eaten his stomach, heart, and lungs and to leave him feeling like nothing more than an hole.

The others seemed to have noticed now.

He was no longer going to pack meeting regularly and when he did he wouldn’t spew his usual amount of word vomit nor would he eat. There were dark circles under his eyes from nearly a week without sleep. His eyes no longer had that same spark of life they did six months ago, before she came.

They tried to talk to him, to help him, but all their conversations kept coming around to her.

How happy they were to have her around.

How happy she made them and Derek.

How they were all going to be a family and how everything was finally going to be perfect.

How she and Derek were going to have such beautiful pups.

It was this last part of the conversation that always made Stiles run to the bathroom to dry heave viciously into the toilet.

\--------

The day of the mating between Derek and his chosen mate was the day Stiles left Beacon Hillls.

It was like pulling off a band aid.

Painful at first, but better in the long run.

His father wouldn't have to worry about him anymore and could move on with his life.

The pack wouldn't have to be annoyed or burdened with him or his antics.

And Derek….Derek would be happy.

Derek wouldn't be grumpy anymore.

Derek would be able to rebuild the family he had lost.

Without Stiles getting in the way.

Without…..him.

Stiles tried to laugh. It wasn’t like he had never been alone before. He would survive this. He would make it out of this alive just like he always did.

He would move on.

He would drive that last remaining mile out of California and begin a new life for himself.

Just as soon as he could blink the clouds out of his eyes.

\--------

Three hours later he was still in Cali.

Pulled over on the side of the rode, car abandoned, sitting next to a tree on the side of the rode, head in his hands.

Those stupid clouds wouldn’t go away.

The moon was full above him and the stars seemed abnormally bright.

He hated it.

He hated how he couldn’t make himself move. How he couldn’t seem to go that one last goddamn mile.

It was all he wanted now. Just to run away.

But his stupid head kept going back to Derek, the pack (which he had long ago consented was no longer his) and his father. But mostly Derek.  
It hurt deeply that the dark haired man had found someone.

Someone that wasn’t him.

He wasn’t aware that he was calling for the older man. He was in too much pain.

He was so caught in it he didn’t feel the voices calling to him. Didn’t notice the people surrounding him, each with looks of worry and pain upon their faces. Didn’t notice the object of his own pain crouching down beside him.

He did, however, feel warm arms wrapping around him to pull him into the warm solid flesh of Derek’s chest.

This made Stiles sob harder.

It wasn’t fair.

_What’s not fair Stiles?_

It wasn’t fair that Derek was there, that Stiles had to be tortured by him even now.

The warmth pulled him tighter

_Why do you think I’m torturing you?_

Because he chose her. He chose her when Stiles had been right there all along. Right there and willing to give his love to Derek and his pack. Willing to give whatever was left of him to the people that mattered to him. But it was too late for that now. He had waited too long and now he had nothing.

_Oh, Stiles._

All at once he was surrounded by a wall of warmth.

_I’m sorry Stiles, so, so sorry._

**Author's Note:**

> OK, I'm having issues with getting things to italicize so I apologize if they ending is a little confusing. "Why do you think I'm torturing you?" "Oh Stiles" and "I'm sorry, so, so sorry" are supposed to be in italics. Hopefully this will help clear up the ending a bit


End file.
